Anyone who knows me, will say I like a challenge.
Indeed I do, but I usually start out with some sense that I can do it. Recently I have purposefully, inspired by friends, been taking on things where I don’t know if I can succeed. Running. Cycling 46 miles. Taking on staff (more on that next week).
So far so good. But I want to be clear. I feel afraid and it is too easy to say ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’, because it’s much more complex than that.
My physicality has been my weakness, pretty much all my life. I have not had confidence in my body’s physical strength; and it is only in the last ten months that I have come trudging towards the realisation that a strong body = a stronger mind. A more resilient body = a more resilient Sarah. Not just literally (although running away from danger is always a good tool to have in the box) but metaphorically. I feel strong. Therefore I am stronger.
On Sunday I cycled 36 miles, most of them in the pouring rain – rain so hard, it felt like someone was sticking pins into my face as I hurtled down a hill. But I did it because I didn’t think I could.
On Monday I stood on the Downs in Bristol and took part in the first This Mum Runs Strong. I did a plank. Me. I tested myself to my limits. And they were further away than I thought.
But then, I didn’t think my Uncle Chris would die. He was the strong, powerful, loud, mighty man from Devon. Cancer took him, too fast, too soon and that is why I started this mission to get fitter, stronger and more resilient. No one, to state the bleeding obvious, in my family is getting any younger and I am exceptionally close to my parents. I need to strengthen myself.
So on Sunday I shall be at the start line of the 46 mile Ride London, with a bright green Macmillan cycling jersey on and huge grin. Because I can do it. For Uncle Chris, and everyone who has lost someone. For me. and for everyone who thinks they cannot. (if you would like to support me, my brother and John that would be amazing, link here).
The Inaugural This Mum Runs Strong team…..there will be many many more, of this I am sure.